Monday, June 6, 2011

Escapism With Hadley

So, thunderstorms. People are generally frightened by thunderstorms, but I love them for some reason. Firstly, they remind me of Thor; I have lately taken to running around in the rain yelling, "God of Thunder!!!" (Katie and Emily can testify to that), but I digress. What I find interesting about the intersection of me and thunderstorms is this. My mind tends to bypass any sense of danger that thunderstorms give off and I just find them kind of thrilling. We flew through a storm before landing in New York City two summers ago and thought it was incredible. This mirrors other aspects of myself, too; something I didn't realize until I really started thinking about the thunderstorm thing. I often pretend that any negative aspects of a situation don't exist and try to make the most of it...not because I'm an overtly positive person, but because I often can't deal with anything extremely negative. I force myself not to think about anything frightening so I don't have to be afraid. I still find myself forcing myself not to think about the fact that my friend Carter passed away this March, only letting myself think about the happy times we used to have. This is my own version of escapism...I can't ever convince myself that he's still here, but I can choose to place the fact that he's gone as far back in my mind as I possibly can. I can't convince myself that thunderstorms are harmless, but I can choose to see the beauty over the danger. This isn't nearly as eloquent or detailed as I want it to be...I need to explore this idea further before I can fully explain it. However, I just realized I remind me of Rosencrantz from Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead...Katie knows what I'm talking about. : )

Reading: Kiss of the Spider Woman (Again. Everyone, READ THIS BOOK. I can't beg you enough. It's just too beautiful.)
Watching: Law and Order...?
Writing: X-Men fanfiction HELL YES.

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